It’s not easy for me to do it.
But I have to do it.
I have to do it for my daughter. For my wife. For all my family. For my teammates. And especially for me.
I’m Jordan Poyer, captain of the Buffalo Bills, and I’m an alcoholic.
Damn, you know what? Honestly, it feels good to say that.
A big part of my sobriety is looking at the truth. To be comfortable with who I am. And I’m actually surprised at how easy it was to open up to people. I had built it into this big thing in my mind. Even when I got sober and went to my first AA meeting in March, I was so nervous for someone to recognize me that I didn’t even open my mouth. I just sat there listening the whole time in a low voice.
But I slowly began to realize that the truth was a kind of freedom. When I saw some of my Bills teammates for the first time over the summer, they had no idea I had been sober for four months.
I’ll never forget, we were chilling out, catching up and everything, and some of the guys were drinking, and I just went out and told them the deal. I said, “Look, I know you’ve all seen me drunk like hell before. But I want you to know that I have a problem. And I am taking measures to remedy it. I don’t drink anymore. So I hope everyone is ok with that. I try to be a better me.
And, man, I was so nervous how they would react. I really thought they might laugh out loud, thinking I was laughing at them – because they saw me hanging out at the club, alight-lit, you know what I’m saying?
But that was not their reaction at all. Everyone got it right and immediately showed me 100% love and respect, no questions asked. I was blown away by their support and brotherhood. These guys helped me find the courage to tell my story and share it with you.
And make no mistake: I am ready to help lead this team to a Super Bowl now. More ready than I have ever been. My body feels good. My mind is feeling good. I am excited for the future – as a husband, as a father and as the leader of this football team.
It wasn’t easy to get here … but it was worth it.
The truth – freedom – is always worth it.